Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Milf Yuri 1 Retrospective

I actually feel a little bad about releasing these in this format, but it really is easier for me to discuss these if I'm only doing 3 or 4 at a time, rather than 6 at a time.
Serialization isn't that bad, right?

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So here it is, my first ever attempt at writing yuri.  It didn't end up being anywhere near as difficult as I thought it would be, but it also wasn't really that much yuri.  I really like the way that this came out, though.  The pictures themselves rock, in my opinion, and outside the intro and outro, it's a totally sexual narrative, with slightly more than half of the sex being /ss/.  That's a success in my book.  I kind of wish that I had been able to sexualize the outro a bit more, but I think that the sex bit ends with a nice conclusion, that wraps things up for the reader, quite well.  You'll see what I mean in a couple days. 
A little bit about the pictures, they come from a set called '[スタジオクリムゾン] Joy Pop', which is available on exhentai.  I've finally figured out how to get good sets.  First, I use gelbooru to find a good pic, using their tag system.  Then, if I can get an artist, I'll look up that artist on exhentai, and find the set, which can sometimes be difficult.  Once I've got the set, though, I can go through and download whatever I want from it.  I've been using this technique since the bondage issue, but I'm only just getting the hang of really using it.  Sometimes I'll have to use a booru search to get an artist name, and sometimes, I'll have to go look that artist up on pixiv, but overall, I'm usually able to get decent sets now. 
I actually started with only 4 pictures from this set, and of those, I only ended up using 2.  This new method of finding sets, though, really improves the captions that I'm making, and I wish I had worked it out sooner.

The first page is basically just an introduction to the characters.  It establishes that they're both Lilians, but that only one of them was active in the sexual aspects of the faith.  It also establishes that they're lesbians.  It doesn't tell you which of the two women is the narrator, which was done on purpose.  I wanted the reader to get that information organically. 
There isn't much to say with the picture, it just made a good intro pic.  I don't really like that part of the ladies' heads are cut off, but that's something that you have to deal with when you're making captions.  The resolutions don't always work out the way you want them to. Most of this page is just telling the reader what's going to be discussed in the set. 

The second page starts to talk about the characters a little bit more, and gives some clues as to who's who.  There's a bit of yuri here, but only a sentence or two.  Most of it is actually light femdom, both yuri femdom, and /ss/ femdom.  I've realized, actually, that I don't really do a whole lot of 'heavy' femdom in these.  For a project named 'Let's Rape Little Boys!', there's not a whole lot of real rape going on, or at least, it's all just statutory rape.  I prefer it that way, though. 
If you start getting too extreme, you end up alienating the audience.  I've seen far too many captions that do this, focusing on these totally insane fetishes, that only the writer or artist finds attractive.  From this page, until the outro, it's basically all sex.  There's very little story material, which is probably good.  It's cool to combine them, but I think that some of the bigger sets might do better as just straight up erofic, with the story as bookends.  Not sure, though.  I'll have to experiment with it some more.

The third page gets much more femdommish, and lets you know exactly who the narrator is.  I actually had a couple of 'nipple leash' pictures, but I decided to only use one, so as not to get bogged down in that very specific fetish. 
Originally, instead of 'refused to touch her', I used 'refused to touch her pussy'.  I got rid of the pussy bit, because I didn't want to use that particular word too much.  I have a problem with this, and I think that most erofic writers do.  You should, as a writer, always strive to use different words for shit, but sex words are tough.  How many words are there for vagina?  Cunt, pussy, sex, folds, and so on.  Shit like quim.  What is a quim?  It's difficult to write these without using the same words over and over again.  I had this problem while I was writing the position pamphlet, too.  I ran out of stupid pet names for the boys, and started using shit like 'cummy bear', which I'm pretty sure nobody has ever said, in the throes of passion.  It's a big problem. 
Another issue that I had in this special, though, was running out of things for 2 lesbians and a boy to do together.  It's not so much that I couldn't think of anything, it's that it was difficult to find things that would work with the specific positions in the pics.  I decided to go with fisting here, which hopefully didn't come off as too crude or extreme.  Boys have small hands, and I tried to focus on that, so that the reader wouldn't envision some massive clenched fist being rammed into this woman's cunt, like some kind of shoryuken thing.  Maybe I've just played too many fighting games, but that's what I imagine when I hear the word 'fisting'.  I think the 'petting her g-spot' bit helps to alleviate some of that.  I also liked the bit about 'only a young boy can provide this sensation'.  I feel like there needs to be at least some kind of expansion on the topic of 'why little boys'.  It's not really a question that anyone's asking, but realistically, these women would have a laundry list of reasons, so it makes sense that at least a few of them should make it into the specials.  

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Yeah, I wouldn't want to do 3 more of those right now, and and I think it would be tl;dr, anyway.  Hopefully you guys like this set so far.  I really like it, personally, I think I did a great job with it.  Of course, I thought I did a bad job with the hooker exploration set, and that one somehow ended up being the most popular one (by pageviews) that I've ever done.  So maybe I just don't know what's good. 
Anyway, the next release will probably be tomorrow, and it'll be 3 more pages of the Timid Boys Pamphlet.  Then I'll finish this set, then more Timid Boys, then I'll release the Bathroom Bukkake 2 set.  It's really more 'Bedroom Bukkake', though.  If you forgot, or if I never actually used the names, Bathroom Bukkake is the set where the lady is trying to set up a Temple in her hometown, and she has to fuck her son in the bathroom, because she's married.  I did another set for her, adding to her story, and I'll probably do another one, because I've got a lot of pics from that set, and 'setting up a Temple' has a lot of potential for being a good story.  Also in the pipe is an expansion of the 'Hooker Birthday' special, since there was a hell of a lot more to that CG set than the 4 pics that I used.  I'll be releasing the original ones again, with a bigger font, and splitting the story across 2 pictures.  Then I'll be using the other pics from that CG set. 

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