Saturday, November 8, 2014

Nerd Girl Retrospective

This is another narrative piece, that essentially tells the story of a young woman seducing a 'bad boy', who she caught shoplifting from her store.  It was written essentially, because I wanted a break from writing the 'Timid Boys' pamphlet.  I feel like I'm getting better with narratives, but they're still running over the character limits a bit.  It's really difficult to condense an entire story into 3000 characters, and it's especially difficult to set up and tell a sex story in 1000 characters. 

The first picture is me setting up the story, explaining who the 'nerd girl' is, and what sort of things she's into.  Hopefully you guys aren't the type that can't handle interracial relationships in fiction.  I've noticed that, sometimes, 'internet people' can be extremely averse to 'race mixing', and they'll boycott any pornstar or studio that does it.  To me, it seems a bit petty, but I'm sure people have their reasons.  Also, it would be really entertaining to me, if the only hatemail I get for making these ends up coming from nazis, who can't handle seeing brown genitals near white genitals.  This picture is very, very, femdommy, and actually glosses over the actual sex, since I totally ran out of space for it.  I think it works, though, and I'm happy with the way it came out.  The 'bed in the back room' bit is also supposed to imply that the shop is Lilian owned.

The second picture continues the story of Javier and 'Nerd Girl', and establishes that the nerd girl doesn't actually live in the back room, which is something that you might think, from the first picture.  It puts them in a bathroom, fucking.  Not much to say about this one, I wanted to describe them having sex, since I had the space, although the setup still ended up being half of the text for this one.  Of course, most of that text is foreplay, so it's sexual, but I could think about limiting the setup, and focusing on the sex.  Of course, there's also the idea, that the sex doesn't really need to be described, since the picture serves that function.  I'll have to think about it.  As an aside, the boy's ass was originally white, the artist made him Japanese, just really tanned.  I decided to edit it, to make him hispanic.  My editing skills suck, unfortunately, but I figure most people are looking at the woman, anyway.

The third picture introduces Javier's friends, one 'of italian heritage', and one who's gay.  The ethnic descriptions, along with the nerd girl's desire for 'strapping mexican boys', as opposed to 'lily white sissies', along with the fact that she enjoyed being bitten by Javier, back in picture 1, characterizes her, I think.  I definitely want the female characters in these to have character, and I feel like the nerd girl is fleshed out quite well.  Making the blonde boy gay was a decision that I made in order to give the story more of a Lilian flair, and explain why this woman is fingering a boy that she's only just met.  I sort of wish that the blonde boy had a less 'terrified' expression, but I guess it's supposed to be 'ecstasy'.  Hentai artists apparently have different ideas on which expression goes with which emotion.  I guess if it were that important, I'd start commissioning stuff.  This picture, though, is actually 58.6%, by characters, non sexual story building.  The first picture is 50.2%, if you start from the grappling, and 14.8% if you start from her leading him to bed.  The second page is 50.7%, if you start with her spreading her legs.  That's an average of 53.2%, or 41.3%, sexual content, depending, really, on how into femdom you are.  For a plaintext erofic, that would probably be bad, but for a caption, since you have the picture attached, I think it's okay.  You guys are more than welcome to share your thoughts on this, by the way. 

Overall, I really enjoyed writing this one, although I do wonder whether the focus of the captions here should be on sex, buildup, characterization, or something else.  I don't think I've ever focused on dialogue, because I've seen too many bad captions that do.  It's an interesting question, though, and one that I think I'll be exploring in a larger blog post, later. 

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