Monday, May 18, 2015

Grimoire Succubus Profiles 1 Retrospective

These were fun to write, but they were also quite difficult.  I kept hitting my character limit, and having to rewrite parts of the narrative.  One issue that I kind of had, was getting the point across that the succubi actually manifest themselves inside the High Priestess' body, possessing her.  I might end up making another page, later, that explains that concept in more detail.  Maybe, maybe not.  I'm kind of out of succubus party pages, unless I used the 'clothed' pics, and they're no fun.


The Nut profile picture is just Nut topless.  I kind of wish the artist had done bottomless pics too, but he didn't, for whatever reason.  Okay, I guess.  Not much to say here, although I do like her gloves.  I think they give her a distinguished look.  Not particularly maternal, but whatever.
The text here was really, quite difficult to write.  Again, there was a lot of information that needed to go here, and not a lot of space for it.  I had to describe the types of boys that she likes, what she can do for the HP, where she likes her cum, and what she does for the boys that she 'takes'.
Yes, that's only 4 things, but I've also only got 1300-1400 characters, and I have to introduce her character, too.  It just ended up being difficult to do.  Fun, but difficult.
Choosing names for her 'attacks' was fun, and gives this more of a 'gamey' feel, which, I think, makes the entire idea slightly more lighthearted.
There was quite a bit of fluff in this one, but since it's just introducing the character of Nut, I feel like it's somewhat justified.  I think I've characterized her reasonably well.  She's kind of the 'one dimensional maternal succubus', but whatever.  I think it's fine.  We'll see what you guys think, I guess.

The Nut session pic, honestly, isn't really that great.  I wish she was doing more maternal stuff, and I wish the boy didn't look like he was being tortured.  But, you work with what you've got, and this is what I've got. 
The text here, proceeds, for the most part, in a very linear, narrative, fashion.  It's been a while since I wrote a narrative like this, so I might be a little rusty.  You can see, in the middle, where I started butting up against the picture.  I originally wasn't going to make Nut interested in BDSM of any sort, but since the boy is obviously not feeling up her tits, which is what Nut would want, I had to make him bound.  I had wanted to put something in about her holding the boy's hands to her chest, so that he could feel her heartbeat, because that seems romantic to me (for some reason), but I didn't end up finding the space.  It's probably for the best.  I don't think that's actually as romantic as I think it is.
The nursing stuff, I feel like, was written somewhat well.  I wish I had been able to toss a nursing handjob bit in there, and I kind of did, but not quite.  At any rate, the 'narcotic milk' stuff made it in.  I may have spent too much time on that concept, but it's one that I really like, and it's one that kind of takes some time to explain, so whatever.  It's kind of a big part of her character, to me. 
Also, "Love Candy".  "Spirit Herb".  I just think that's somewhat telling.

The Eos profile pic, again, is just the 'statutory' picture, that I had to use.  The straps, by the way, are what made me decide to make Eos the 'freaknasty' Succubus.  I sort of regret making the background the same color as her nipples.
The text is similar, in structure, to the Nut profile.  The main difference, is that I give Eos more characterization, in explaining her usual use, in the Temples, and giving about 1000 warnings about her.  The 'warning' theme is quite prevalent, throughout my discussion of Eos. 
Naming her power was kind of difficult.  "Male Dominance" doesn't really work, and "Female Dominance" doesn't really work, either.  "Dominance over Man" isn't perfect, but it's descriptive enough, I think.  I wonder if I should have added, like, a 'within reason' to the description, so people don't think that you can just summon her, and then tell the president to change the national religion to Lilism.  Whatever.  Who really reads these, anyway, right? 
It's pretty standard stuff, really, just explaining who she likes, and all that stuff.  I follow the same basic pattern, as the Nut page.  It's just the details that change.  Not much to say about it, really.  I had to cut some stuff for space, but when don't I, in this pamphlet? 

The Eos session pic was changed, slightly, from the original one.  Originally, she had a stupid look on her face, which I thought was somewhat undignified, so I gave her this one, from a previous picture.  It's not much more dignified, but at least she's not ahegaoing. 
The text is, again, a linear narrative.  It's more or less just a rough sex narrative, which I haven't ever written before.  I'm not sure how good of a job I did.  The phrase, 'painful pleasure' may or may not have been a good choice.  I'm still not sure about that. 
Really, though, just a normal narrative.  There's a little bit of roundup at the very end, but overall, not much to say about this.  It's just a rough sex narrative. 


So, next up, most likely, are the last 2 Succubus profiles, although I might hold off on them, and write some more for the Temple Intro pamphlet, now that I've had some time to think about what I want to do with it.  I'm thinking that I'll have one page on having sex with randos from the Cell/Circle, and one page on being the only boy in the Cell/Circle, and the challenges that come along with that.  

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