Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Post Pubescent Slavery Intro and CliStim block Retrospective

So, I'm actually back on schedule, we'll see how long this lasts.  Anyway, this is the intro to the Post Pubescent Slavery pamphlet, and the first block of the same.  The boy looks just post-pubescent, but whatevs.  I have to keep it /ss/, right?  I really enjoyed writing these.  They were very simple, and very fun.

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The intro picture looks a lot better at full resolution, but I needed space to really introduce this pamphlet, since there's so much ground to cover, framework-wise.  I like this picture, but it really didn't downsize all that well.  I've got a few pictures that might be better, so I might change the intro pic out when I do the outro.  It's really just the eyes, that I don't like. 
The text for the intro has a lot of ground to cover.  First, I have to explain what the slavery is, then I have to provide the framework for the gospel, and then I have to introduce the characters.  I feel like I did an okay job on all of those fronts, although I wish I'd been able to say a bit more about the mistress characters. 
In the end, I guess their personalities and stories can come through, in the actual pages, themselves, but that takes away from the sexual narratives, a bit.  I only have so much space in each page.  Anyway, I feel like it was done reasonably well.  Another thing that I would have wanted more space for, was the explanation of the Gospel verse.  I'm glad that I was able to get the ambiguity across, but I feel like it could have been done better, somehow.  Maybe a better quote, maybe more discussion, I'm not sure.  Maybe it's good the way it is.

Hopefully the names aren't too annoying. 

The first page picture would have been improved if Shinji/Qamar weren't a shadow person, but whatever, you get what you get.  I like the picture, otherwise.  I've kind of decided that Ritsuko/Carina is going to be the dominant, mostly lesbian one, while Misato/Yuna is the fun loving, playful, bisexual one.  Of course, a lot of that is based on the set, which is based on the anime.  So it wasn't much of a choice.  But anyway, I like the picture, and I like that I was able to tie this whole thing in with the Medea Circe pharmaceutical lab subplot.  I really do like that facet of the story.
The text is pure narrative, which is really, really, refreshing.  I enjoy writing the Mommy Bubble 80's stuff, but doing the narrative/guide thing, with multiple authors, and an overarching, linear, narrative, is kind of difficult.  This 'vignette' style of just straight up sex and story is far lighter, for me.  Plus, while the Mommy Bubble 80's pamphlet isn't that dark, we're still talking about 2 people who are most likely hurtling towards a co-dependent relationship.  This is a lot more fun.
But I'm getting off track.  I spend about the first third of this page setting up the characters, where they are, when they are, and what they're doing.  It's very quick, and I like how I did it.  I kind of wish that I'd written more, but at this point, I still wasn't sure how many characters I'd be able to use.  Apparently, it's something to the tune of 1500.  
I wasn't sure whether to use "pussy" or "cunt" after "dripping".  I guess, theoretically, "quim" was in the running, but I have never liked that term.  Twat's in too, but I don't think that's such a good word, either.  Better than quim, and definitely better than gash, or slit, which make me think of arterial bleeding, but I've heard twat used as an insult too many times, for it to be sexy.  Of course, people use cunt as an insult, too.  Whatever.  I wish I'd used "like honey" instead of "like fine wine".  Just flows better, in my mind. 
I like the fantasies that I used here, a lot.  I feel like they represent a pretty nice, wide, account of the pussylicking that could possibly go on in a corporate laboratory environment.  Maybe.  Rereading it, it's only actually 2 fantasies, but it feels like 3.  Anyway, I like that I was able to get multiple fantasies in. 

The second page picture actually had a version where the two of them are fucking, and a version where Qamar/Shinji is licking her out.  I decided to go with this, because I want to avoid doubling up on any one sex act, to avoid repeating myself.  There will be two coital pictures, one for each mistress, and two pictures where I'll essentially be discussing non-penetrative slave/mistress relationships, but overall, I want to avoid doubling up.  I like this picture, though, I feel like it represents a sex act that doesn't really get a lot of play in hentai, and I'm not sure that I've really ever covered it. 
The text, like the last page, spends some time introducing the characters, telling us who, where, and when.  I think that the concept of a slave having 2 mistresses, who share him, is interesting.  Now, let's take the sex out, and look at this objectively, for a second.  This poor boy is a slave.  He's probably like, what? 14-16?  He's not getting paid, because, slave.  He's basically working 2 jobs, one as a lab tech, and another as what amounts to a janitor.  He works 6 days a week, and may or may not be cooking and cleaning for these women, domestically, after the workday.  That fucking sucks.  The fact that he's getting laid doesn't really make up for all that bullshit. 
But again, back to the topic at hand.  I hope that I was able to characterize Yuna/Misato a bit, with the 'we don't really get to party' lines, and the 'rubadubdub' bit.  I wish that I'd remembered to press enter after that rubadubdub line, by the way.  It's supposed to be its own line.  Oh well.  I like the fantasy here, as I said, it's one that doesn't get much play, even though there's a lot that could be said about it.  Hopefully, the bits at the end characterize Misato/Yuna as sort of a 'teasing sister' archetype.  That's what I'm going for, with her.  I think it'll be more obvious, later. 

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Wow, I wrote a lot.  Anyway, hopefully this pamphlet is shaping up to be something interesting to you all, and hopefully my characters are fun, and varied.  I do have a problem with "samevoice", I think.  I'm having a lot of fun writing this, though, probably because I love, love, love, Medea Circe, as a character.  She's easily the most interesting character in the Lilian mythos, which probably has something to do with the fact that she's half stolen from Nyar.

Next up is probably the oral sex block of the cherrypop scene, for the Mommy Bubble 80's pamphlet.  I think I'll be alternating between this pamphlet, and that pamphlet, then switching to Chapter 58 ritual pamphlet, when this one's finished.

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