Monday, August 31, 2015

Fun Swapping Retrospective

No, this is not Mennonite Madness Blonde Intro.  I decided, while I was writing the first Mennonite Madness block, that I needed to actually practice a bit, with my dialogue writing style.  Logistically, it's not the easiest thing in the world, to do, compared to the standard type of writing, that I normally release.  First, I have to use "Lorum Ipsum" to figure out how many characters I have in a line, so that I won't be wasting too much space.  Then, I have to work out how many perspective changes I want to use.  Then, I have to decide on colors, and then, I can start writing.  The dialogue itself is difficult to write.  Basically, it's a challenge, and it's something that I need to practice, before I'm ready for "prime time".  So this week, in addition to the regular Mommy Bubble 80's release, I'll be doing "dual narrative" practice, with a focus on dialogue, and a focus on 2 women, discussing their sexploits.  This is the first part of that effort. 


The first page picture, honestly, was not well chosen.  I'll say it now, I kind of screwed this one up, because I didn't work out which boy fit with which woman.  I've read son swapping, but I didn't read it before I wrote this, so the boys, I think, are actually matched to the wrong women.  This picture doesn't have any boys in it, so I picked names, and did all of the prep work, without knowing who was who.  You know, it's a learning process.
The narrative here is presented in a very line by line, shortform style, because I wanted to try that style out.  I'll be experimenting with different dual author styles, this week, in preparation for Mennonite Madness. 
So here, the two women kind of chat between themselves, before even explaining what's going on.  I'll be experimenting with a different style for Friday's release, but I feel like this style is okay, overall.  The biggest issue with the conversational, line by line, style, is that it's very good for establishing character, but it's terrible for actually explaining what's going on, and telling the story.  You just don't have enough space.  So there's that.  Also, they're talking to each other, and not to the reader, so it might take the reader out of it, a bit.  That's another thing I'll have to work on. 
I was going for a sort of 'fun loving' vs 'romantic' thing, with the characters, with black(long hair) being more romantic, while brown(short hair) is more fun.  I don't know whether I managed to stick to those characters or not, especially at the end, but we'll get there when we get there.
Overall, I think that this was very good, as a learning process kind of thing.  I learned the technical logistics of how to do a shortform, line by line, conversational, style.  This style is good for characterization, and it can be good for building a rapport with the reader, but it's difficult to tell a story in this style, and a lot of care should be taken to not alienate the reader, and make them feel like outsiders.

The second page picture is where I basically had to decide which boy goes with which mother.  I did not choose correctly.  I originally meant for this to be a picture that lead to a sex picture, but I got the names wrong, which led to the overall story being wrong, and I didn't want to rewrite, because these are actually really, really difficult to write.  Probably because I'm not used to writing them. 
I used a type of longform line by line here, which I think is better for presenting stories, while still keeping the line-by-line format intact.  I think I did an okay job of presenting the story, while keeping to the dual author format.  The one thing that I wish I'd done more of, was present the sexual story. 
As I said, it's difficult to tell a story in this format, because both people were there.  You can discuss specific elements of the scene, but you can't realistically tell a straight up story.  So elements of the scene, is mostly what this page has. 

The third picture was actually supposed to be the fourth picture, but I couldn't use the sex picture, for reasons that I already explained.  So we get this one.  It's not a bad picture, but it's pretty blatant, there aren't any sex pictures here.  It's all just them not having sex with each other.  That said, this is a nice picture. 
The narrative here is in the old longform block style that I use in Mommy Bubble 80's.  It's very easy to use, and I know how to write in this style.  It doesn't allow for the characters to play off of each other, but it does allow them to tell their own stories, without any interruption, which is what they're doing here.  Their two stories do kind of play off of one another, and contrast well, which is nice.  I like that I was able to tie the concept of the Mommy Bubble in here, and then flip it on its head, a bit, to present what should be obvious to anyone who's read Mommy Bubble 80's, that the Mommy Bubble is really more of a "Son Bubble", where the mother is overly attached to the son, and raises him in a way that keeps him from ever growing up and "leaving" her. 
I feel like this page is an example of a correct way to use the dual author system, in a way that actually improves the narrative.  I think that when I'm writing Mennonite Madness, I need to look at whether a specific page really needs dual authorship, and if it doesn't, I can put the narrative on one of the girls, and have the other one basically just support. 


I'm really glad that I'm taking this time, to actually learn how to do dual narrative properly, instead of just jumping into Mennonite Madness, and trying to learn how to do it along the way.  I really am learning a lot, and it's good to at least believe that I'm capable of recognizing my own shortcomings, and working through them.

Next up is probably going to be the "sleeping in the same bed" block of the Mommy Bubble 80's pamphlet, and on Friday, I'll be doing another dual author one-off, probably about a kid with 2 moms, where the moms discuss their stewardship of him.  

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