Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Mennonite Molestation Intro and Characters Retrospective

Oh exposition,
I'm such a fool for you, dear
You're just so easy

-m5k, 2015

Yes, this was basically 3500 characters of pure exposition, which really is not how you write things.   I'm (probably) not going to redo this, but goddamn, that was a ton of exposition.  A ton.  It's not a good way to start things off.  Ideally, I would have explained the story over time, and not done this huge infodump all in one shot.  Oh well. 


The intro pic is actually from a completely different Doujinaries set, which I may or may not use.  I basically just needed a well drawn, milfy looking female, who looked like she could be the General Secretary of a Union.  By the way, I am 10,000% sure that the leader of a trade union is not called the "General Secretary".  Good on you, though, if you know what kind of Union a General Secretary actually is the head of.  Funny thing, this picture was actually put together in chunks.  I had to match the head to the neck, and then layer a face on top.  It was not fun.
The intro text is, as I said, a shameful display of exposition.  There's a whole lot of information here.  First, we get her name, and we get that she's a union boss.  We find out how the SLC Temple makes its money, and we find out that they have a relatively low "SSI reliance rate", which I don't bother to explain.  It's the amount of families that get the majority of their money from welfare.  There's a bit of an implication there, that having a 30% SSI reliance rate is a huge accomplishment, which in turn, implies that the Lilians are very dependent on government welfare.  Just a little piece of storyline, for those who like that sort of thing. 
So we move on to the situation between the Mormons and Mennonites.  I really, really, don't know whether I explained this well or not.  I use a lot of acronyms that non-americans might not get, and I don't specify that the mothers being cut off are Mennonites.  Basically, this wasn't written particularly well, which is why it might just end up being rewritten, later.  I'll have to see. 

The character sheet pics are basically just 2 pictures from the CG set, where the girls are on a blank background.  I used poses that I thought kind of captured their personalities, and I had them completely naked, except for their accessories, because I like their accessories.  I really do feel like all the bangles and ridiculous jewelry adds to the sexiness of gyarus.  Hopefully putting the names under each character, and the color differences, helped to identify which character is which. 
The character bios were fun to write, but also kind of difficult to write.  I didn't really end up explaining where these women came from, but I did manage to get across the idea that they're strippers.  I did not, however, mention how old they are, which might be a good thing, since they're dressed up like high school girls for most of the pictures. 
Hopefully I can avoid going "off model" for when I actually start writing these girls' dialogue. 


So, hooray, hoorah, there's the first installment of Mennonite Molestation Madness!  It wasn't quite everything that I wanted it to be, but I think it might be just enough.  Next up, I'll be completing the Weekend/Positions block for Mommy Bubble 80's, and then next week, the "big" thing will be Mennonite Madness.  Hopefully it comes out well.  

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