This is the intro to the black bloc of the Mennonite Madness pamphlet. It introduces black (elijah) and moves the story forward.
Prepare for Trouble
and make it Bubble
H:See, things go *better* when we stick with the plan. I had too much fun taking little Elijah to heaven! He was nice and easy to seduce, and he *really* knew how to have a good time, especially for a Mennonite.
P:Well, that's why he was on the list, right? He spent most of his days skipping homeschool, hanging out at the lake, and screwing around. Strangely enough, his truancy didn't continue, after he converted. He never skipped *my* classes!
H:Well nobody ever skips *your* classes... At any rate, we'd gotten word from a couple of our slaves, that Elijah was hanging out at the lake. We told them to clear out that stretch of 'beach' for us, which wasn't difficult, since it *was* a weekday. We showed up with a cooler full of "Boulder Bubble", Colorado's finest Lilian cannacola.
P:I wanted to share some with the slaves, but I guess they *did* have jobs to do. I gave them a nice reward, later <3
H:Yeah, they have a job to do! Those slaves were the only thing keeping us from getting arrested. I know it's easy to forget sometimes, but enjoying your sexuality with a young boy *is* illegal.
P:A true injustice, considering all that we do for these boys. If we hadn't come along, Elijah would probably still be skipping all of his classes!
H:You have to admit, though, a bad little boy is easier to recruit. All we had to do, was call him over, and offer him something "forbidden", like a soda.
P:You think there might be a reason why the Mennonites aren't allowed to drink soda? Is it the caffeine?
H:Maybe it's the caffeine, giving them energy to peep on their mothers, or maybe it's the bubbles, giving their tongues a sinfully tingling sensation. *Or*, maybe it's the friendly strangers, giving out *special* sodas!
P:*Very* special! What's in that stuff, anyway? I know it's something spirit-herb related, but I think you'd know better
H:Well, back in the mid 80's, when I was just a kid, the Boulder Temple was still just the Boulder Coven. We wanted to get fully integrated, but all we had, business-wise, was a failing soda company, and the usual Spirit Herb grows, that every Temple does. When techno started to get more popular in the Temple orgies, people realized that the old way of smoking, or eating their herb, wasn't going to cut it. They needed a drink, and they needed it to be *non* alcoholic.
P:Than why did they make it Carmex flavored?
H:Hey, Carmex is great! All the students love my Carmex kisses. Anyway, they only make that flavor for Colorado, everyone else gets bubble gum and vanilla.
P:Lychee's my favorite!
H:It's everybody's favorite. Once Elijah had agreed to hang out with us, you suggested that we wiggle our asses at him, while we pretended to pick out a good flavor. *That* was a good idea. I wanted to give him Carmex, so he'd drink it slow, but *you* wanted to show him how good the Lychee flavor was.