Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Mennonite Madness Blonde Cherrypop Retrospective

These are getting easier and easier to write, as I establish the characters, and figure out how to write dialogue. 


The first page picture features a somewhat dominant Marcus, which created a bit of a challenge, when it came time to write this.  I feel like I handled it well, though.
The text focuses quite a bit on Platinum, for two reasons.  Reason one is obvious, she's the one getting fucked here, so the focus is kind of automatically on her.  The second reason is that she's not in the next picture, so I needed to give her a good showing, to wrap up her part of the narrative. 
I decided to expand the sex-ed classes a bit more in this page, because I feel like it's a really interesting element of the Lilians, with a ton of possible material, but it's a bit difficult to find a way to examine it, in the context of these "internal propaganda" devices.  Having a sex ed teacher as a character helps with that.  So anyway, we get to hear Platinum talk about how she runs her exams.  Honey chimes in with her own characterization, here, which largely serves to show off her predatory and femdommy nature. 
Platinum then goes on to discuss her love of virgins, and impart her own little fantasy of the "perfect cherrypop", which basically just works to characterize her, as being a sucker for cuteness and innocence.  I close it off by relating the narrative to the picture, really, jumping straight to him coming.  So there isn't a ton of narrative here.  The next page has more.

The second page picture doesn't feature Platinum at all, so I had to kind of get her out of the narrative, somhow.  This picture is actually before the last one, in the original work, but here, it belonged at the end, to kind of get ready for the wrapup. 
The phrases "get a turn" and "take a spin" were intended to kind of objectify Marcus, a bit.  They treat him like a bit of a whore, which kind of characterizes them both.  The majority of this text, though, is focused on Honey.  I send Platinum to "tease and pamper" the slaves, which I don't really know what that means, but I imagine it would be a kind of raunchy flirting.  Platinum is supposed to be the "good cop".  When she's gone, Honey lets her inner tiger out of its cage, and engages in a bit of (very) light S&M with Marcus. 
I know, I know, I'm kind of doing Yuna and Carina all over again, here, but I feel like it works.  I think Honey is going to be more of a sexual dominant, full stop, but also, she'd be into rougher sex.  I like that I was able to really get a good narrative here, focusing not only on what did happen, but also on what Honey wanted to do, which was quite a bit more extreme.  I like that I was able to really drive home the predatory nature of Honey here, wanting to claw at him like a lioness, and mark him as her conquest.  It shows that she's freaky, and kind of extreme, but also that she's smart, since she didn't actually do it, because that would leave marks.  She found a way to inflict pain on him, that wouldn't be noticed by his mothers. 


Next up is the conclusion/outro for the Mommy Bubble 80's pamphlet, and possibly the High Priestess' commentary on the Blonde/Marcus block, which will serve as a divider between this block, and the next.  After that, we'll be starting Black's bloc.  I might have the second prewrite for the Night Journey Ritual block ready by wednesday, or it might be part of the friday release.  

No comments:

Post a Comment